From Dr Watson to Sherlock Holmes Esq:

Dear Holmes

It seems that my foray into the world of film is over as quickly as it began – it turns out that the Boultings merely wanted me ‘on board’ in order to completely trash my version of our adventures and turn us into a pair of comedic buffoons. Naturally I told them where they can stick their ridiculous ideas (though I did add that if that famous actor Basil Rathbone is ever interested, they should by all means get back in touch, but only if my role can be taken by someone like Laurence Olivier or Stanley Baker – I have no wish to be portrayed by some muddling old fool like Nigel Bruce – that would be a travesty!)

Anyway, great news about old Hennery – I shall be round as soon as I’ve persuaded Mrs Watson to unzip me from my costume (we attended a rather sordid 24-hour party yesterday and were persuaded to turn up as Mae West and John Wayne (naturally, I was Mae West –  you wouldn’t believe some of the requests I had!)

Soon

Watson