From Sherlock Holmes Esq to Dr J Watson:

Watson – I shall refrain from commenting on your waspish and acerbic reply to my heart-felt and despairing missive, as it seems churlish in the circumstances.

You seem to have totally failed to take in to consideration the fact that these were desperate and utterly ruthless felons whom I was up against, as our friend Logan will attest, or he would were he not sitting here on the cold, damp clay alongside me, bound and gagged and chained as I am – in fact, we are chained together, closer than any normal bonds will have it; closer, it seems, than you and I at this moment – I fear your good lady wife has been dribbling her poison more assiduously in to your ear than before, in her constant efforts to sever the bonds which bind, and have bound us, for far longer than her wheedling charms have been applied to your person – in more ways than one, need I add.

Should you feel I am exuding more emotion than is usual, it may in part be due to the fact that my hopes of returning to 221B and Mrs Hudson’s Double-layered Pork and Apple Pies are receding with each passing hour. In short, I fear I may never again clap eyes on your bluff, down-to-earth, manly form again. Despite your many shortcomings, I did value your contribution to my Life and Practice. Logan also sends his best.

Your friend, in Dire Straits, SH.