From Sherlock Holmes Esq to Dr J Watson:

Watson
I wonder if you could ask your good lady wife to organise a floral arrangement ( I believe this to be one of her specialties) and have it sent round to Master Douglas’ Institution by way of a small token of my appreciation and gratitude, as were it not for the timely intervention of said gentleman, I should now be, in the words of the immortal M.R. James’ schoolboy – ” a deader”…

Without any preamble, as you no doubt will have heard the gist of the incident, by one means or another, there I sat, bound and gagged in the William Morris- style chair, with its delicate Pugin-like carving, as the sinisterly unhinged forms of The Dangerous Brothers strutted and gurned around me, like Hieronymus Bosch characters come to life, rolling their eyes and drawing back their lips in wolf-like grins.  “Well, Eddie! What have we here? I do believe it is the famous Investigator Mr Sherlock Holmes! Honoured to make your acquaintance, sir! ” , and with an exaggerated bow, the rumpled figure leered into my face, one brow arched in quizzical fashion. On ascertaining that I was not about to engage him in any manner of dialogue, he appeared to lose patience, and aiming a battered boot at his accomplice, instructed him to “Fire her up!”

I shall take a break here, Watson, to consume some of my medicinal broth, as these exertions have somewhat weakened my recovering constitution. I shall resume my missive shortly.

Your friend, somewhat the worse for wear, SH.