from Sherlock Holmes Esq to Dr J Watson:
Watson – are you going to Dickens’ Birthday Bash tonight? I believe it is arranged in order to sample the delights of as many scurrilous watering-holes and dens of iniquity as possible, which surprises me not one whit, considering with whom we are dealing.   Naturally, the likes of Wilde and his ilk will be attending – I have it from a reliable source that young Stevenson is coming down from Edinburgh – no doubt with some of his cronies – you can imagine the tone of the proceedings with that shower – Mrs Leanshanks has been commissioned to emerge, scantily-clad, from a giant confection near the end of the proceedings.

I fear that will be surplus to requirements, as by that time there doubtless will be nary a one left standing, and with all faculties intact. Let me know your intention as soon as possible, as Hudson needs to know whether she must air the spare bed.

Holmes.