From Sherlock Holmes Esq to Doctor Watson:

Watson – I was rather peeved at your hasty departure the other day, and as a result I allowed young Stevenson to lead me astray – yes, I can hear your muttering along the lines of ” don’t need any Leading to do That”…and yes, I am aware that my inherent inclinations have led me down the path of Debauchery and Dissolution once or twice..but then you’re hardly Mr Prim and Proper yourself, old thing.

I shall desist  this childish name-calling forthwith, as your telegram set out the situation succinctly –  The Woman is in need of our assistance; we must marshal our forces and ride to her rescue –  excuse my choice of phrase, Watson, but I have been forced to read some Tosh which I found in Stevenson’s Lodgings – the man does not possess a decent Library; for one who makes his living from the Craft of Writing…hard to believe, I know…this lack of worthwhile matter is indeed somewhat shocking…also if I have to swallow one more slice of toast covered in that infernal comestible I may expire.

I will be back to Civilisation as soon as possible, with much relief at the prospect…Stevenson is collating yet another precis for his infernal preserve-touting venture as I write…the stench of the marinating fruits is stinging my eyes and throat to a degree I could not have imagined.

Yours, a tad inebriated, SH.