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Needle & Spoon

From Sherlock Holmes Esq to Dr J Watson 

My dear Watson, It was with great relish that I feasted my eyes on your scribblings; I have of late experienced one of my periodic visits from the Black Dog – not the hellish hound we came up against in Dartmoor, of course, but that scourge of many a good man or woman, and no doubt of those of more dubious character also; this particular visit was an extended and lengthy trial for my poor, battered soul; many a night, and a few days, resulted in my renewing my acquaintance with the needle…

Yes, Watson, my resolve has been sorely tried and found wanting…however, I feel my spirits lifting at the thought of something to get my teeth in to….much like old Flo….if your particulars are to be believed…talking of particulars, how is your lady wife?

Did that last incident you mentioned ever come to Court? – I believe Lestrade was all set to go on the Witness Stand,with his Notebook a-quiver, and reveal all….much like your good lady, come to think of it…do not take umbrage, as you usually do – I merely jest, as nothing could dampen my spirits tonight, with the thought of a good Mystery – or three! – to drive the Shades of Darkness away, ironic as that might sound.

Haste ye to Mrs Hudson’s Hearth, man, as many a man has done before…as she let slip one evening, fuelled with the best Amontillado and Port…

Till we meet again, SH.
Crumpets obligatory.

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Posted by on November 8, 2013 in Detective Fiction


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From Dr Watson to Sherlock Holmes Esq:

My Dear Holmes
Now that we have recovered from our recent foray into foreign lands, I assume you’ll be happy to accept at least one of the recent interesting and varied cases that
have been thrust our way? No doubt you have had several requests for assistance at your end, and I too have received a good sackful of letters and invitations relating to murders, burglaries, buggeries, kidnappings and other nefarious wrongdoings.

I have outlined some of the most interesting ones below and look forward to your response:

1 Lady Minge-Tottie Caboodle of Alderley Edge begs your indulgence in the case of her missing husband. It seems the fellow went out to buy a bag of sugar and never
came back. (My brief enquiries have found that Lord Minge-Tottie Caboodle does in fact deal in the import of that particular commodity from the West Indies). While this may be an interesting case (she has offered a large reward for any information), I feel it may not pique your interest enough to warrant our intervention.

2 Elizabeth Short, also known as The Black Dahlia, was found murdered several months ago in a Los Angeles suburb. Her body was neatly severed in half, gutted, and drained of blood. The case has baffled the FBI chap (a certain Mr Elliot Ness) and the authorities are keen that a fresh perspective might shed some light on this most
terrible of crimes. It would, of course, mean a trip to America (and I know how you hate Americans after that case involving the Pinkerton detective), though I do think it would be a feather in your deerstalker to solve this one.

3 An Englishwoman, one Florrie Nightingale, has, as you may have heard, been doing “good deeds” at Scutari Hospital over in the Crimea. However, one of the army
doctors (an old pal of mine) has suggested that Miss Nightingale’s success in apparently curing many thousands of wounded soldiers, may have less to do with actual medical expertise and more to do with her being a distant relative of our old friend Count Dracula. Yes, I thought that would make you gasp! It may, of course, be a load of bloodsucking codswallop, but a number of soldiers who have since returned home, have reported strange markings on their necks and a curious appetite for eating recently deceased animals. Also, a couple of them have been found sleeping in wooden boxes during the day, which I’m sure I don’t have to remind you, is a pretty sure sign of vampiric tendencies.

Let me know if any of the above interests you, Holmes. I shall pop round in the morning for some crumpet (please alert Mrs Hudson).


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Posted by on November 8, 2013 in Detective Fiction


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